Finding the Light (Whitsborough Chronicles Book 3) Read online

  “Who have you got there with you? Isn’t he just gorgeous?” I hear her rough rasp from the front door and my heart goes into overdrive. This is what I wanted Emmett not to see. “Is he your boyfriend? Your father always said you were a little faggot.”

  “Get inside.” I fume at her as I round to the driver’s side of my car, “and sleep it off.”

  “Don’t bother ever coming back here, you’re a fucking disgrace. Your father is dead so there’s nothing left here for you.” She sneers. I flip her the finger and get into the seat. Emmett is still staring her down with a look of disgust. “What are you looking at?” She turns on him, “you want to stick up for your boyfriend?”

  I can’t see what Emmett is doing but whatever it is freaks her out enough that she hurries back inside the house. Sonja looks at him wide eyed also and quickly follows behind my deranged mother. He opens the passenger door and gets into the seat, fastening his seat belt. He doesn’t say anything further and turns on the radio, shutting out any possibility of a conversation, which I’m more than okay with. I don’t even want to touch on the subject of her calling me a faggot.

  Emmett helps me bring my bags up to my room and then he heads off into his own without uttering a single word to me. I should feel good about this but for some reason I don’t. I don’t know what he’s thinking about me right now and if he feels uncomfortable being in the house with me now after what my mother said. His music goes on and I know I won’t see him for a while. I fall across my bed and let my exhaustion come over me. I just need a few hours of sleep and then I will tackle my mess of a life.

  2

  I am in a state of rage right now. I can feel it running through my body and heating up my insides. When Ember told me about her rage and how it feels, I didn’t understand it because I had never been that angry. But today, when Travis’ mother looked at him like he was a piece of shit under her very expensive shoe and spoke to him like he was the scum of the Earth and not the child she birthed, I almost lost it. Actually, I did lose it briefly because I withdrew a knife from my waist and swung it around my finger. I wanted her to see that I wouldn’t hesitate to put it through her eye if she continued. I bet she saw something close to insanity in my eyes as well.

  In the car I could feel the shame pouring off of him in waves and it only made my anger worse. I was losing my vision to different shades of red and my breathing was short and quick. That’s why as soon as we were home, I made a beeline for my room and turned my music up loud. I can’t face him right now because I don’t want to make him feel worse, I don’t want to tell him that his mother is a waste of air and she deserves to rot next to his father. The shame he’s feeling would only magnify because when I look at Travis I can see he’s struggling internally, he looks to be at war with himself constantly and I can bet it’s because of his worthless parents.

  I know what it is to have a worthless parent, I was raised by a man-of my father’s choosing-that thought I was useless, too. He tried to make me into a man at the tender age of ten by sinking a knife into the eye socket of someone that worked for The Rampage. After that, I was petrified of knives and I couldn’t even see one or else I would lose it and scream until I passed out. He hated how soft I was and beat me at every chance he had so I would ‘toughen’ up. All on the orders of my father, who was less than impressed with me as his son. It’s fucking hilarious that his daughter was the tough one and she came looking for him. It’s also funny that she was the one he would’ve wanted to groom but instead she tortured and killed him without mercy. The sight of his body afterward is something I will never forget.

  When I first met Travis, I saw him as this pretty boy who looked like he thought himself better than everyone else. He rarely smiles and I have yet to hear him laugh, like a true laugh. I just thought he was stuck up and didn’t want to get close to any of us, but fuck, I was so wrong. Travis was abused by the people that were supposed to be raising him and it’s something I should have seen from the beginning because I used to be the same. Until Ember came. It was like she made me whole again and I could let go of all the hurt I held inside. I finally had family that saw me for me and not something I was supposed to be. I love Carm but he doesn’t have time to be a brother and even though I know he loves me, he also sees me as a future piece inside the Eastside Rampage.

  My phone pings with an alert from the camera on the front porch. Ember made me download the app and learn to use it before she left. I look at the screen and see Adrianna standing on the porch with what looks to be a casserole dish. I blink out of my thoughts and look around the room, it’s darker now and I must have been in here for hours. I get up out of bed and turn my music off. When I don’t hear any movement I open my door and look across the hall. His bedroom door is slightly open, so I cross the hallway and look inside. Travis is starfished on his bed and he looks to be in a deep sleep. I close his door completely and make my way downstairs to the front door.

  I open it up and come face to face with the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen, they look like pools of chocolate with swirls of honey. “Hey!” She chirps, “I brought you something to eat.” Her eyes dart back and forth between mine and she begins to get nervous the longer I don’t say anything.

  “How’d you get here?” I ask her and look beyond her into the driveway, Adrianna doesn’t drive.

  “Oh, my neighbour dropped me off on their way to the airport.”

  “What if we weren’t home?” I raise a brow.

  “Then I would’ve left this on your front porch and walked home. It’s only a twenty minute walk.”

  “Come in.” I open the door wider, “thanks for the food. You didn’t have to.”

  “I know,” she shrugs, “I wanted to come by and check up on you guys anyways. You haven’t killed him, right?”

  I choke on my laughter, she doesn’t think it possible I would though, that’s what’s funny. “No I haven’t killed him.”

  I follow her back into the kitchen and finally take in what she’s wearing. Adrianna is the complete opposite of Ember, she’s a girly girl through and through. She wears these frilly sundresses in different shades of pink and her dark red hair has streaks of pink in it. Today, she’s wearing a jean skirt and a tight black tank top with a pink cardigan on top. Her hair is piled on top of her head and she has stuck some cute little pink flowers inside. Her long tanned legs look like they are shimmering in the light and her face looks fresh and dewy. Adrianna is easily the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I wish I could ignore the feelings her and Travis share and make her mine. But I can’t because I know I would be just heading for a world of hurt when it all crashes down around me.

  “How is he?” Worry lines her features.

  “He’s sleeping right now, but I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him.”

  “Ember texted and asked me to come by.” She shrugs like she wants me to believe that’s the only reason.

  “Well, thanks.” I nod, “did you want me to drop you back home?”

  “No, I feel like walking today.” She holds out her hand, “give me your phone so I can program my number. You text me if you guys need anything.”

  I do as she says and hand her my phone, “or you could just drop by unannounced like this whenever you want to check in, excuse free of course.”

  She rolls her eyes as she punches her number into my phone. “Just call me if you need anything.” She turns on her heel and stalks back towards the front door. I lean against the doorway of the kitchen and just watch her, her ass isn’t overly big but just right and her thighs are strong with her calves flexing as she steps. Yes, Adrianna is every man’s wet dream and there’s not a single thing I can do about it. She looks back at me over her shoulder and catches me checking her out, she raises her brow but I just grin and wink at her. The blush that takes over her cheeks is breathtaking. “See ya.” She rasps and she steps out the door, shutting it behind her with a soft click.

  �
�Don’t eat any of that.” I hear Travis say from the top of the stairs.

  “Okay man, it’s all yours.” I roll my eyes and walk up the stairs.

  “Adri is a terrible cook.” He grabs my arm to stop me from walking by, “everything she cooks or bakes ends up tasting like burnt fish for some reason.”

  I look down to where his hand is gripping my forearm, “thanks for the head’s up.” I mutter and he quickly releases my arm as if it’s on fire.

  “I’ll go get rid of it before it stinks out the kitchen.” He replies as he quickly moves around me and down the stairs. When he hits the bottom, I’m still watching him as he looks up, “there’s a funeral for Coach Halbert today, I have to go otherwise it would look suspicious. He was my little league and high school baseball coach.”

  “Cool.” I shrug, still watching him. Travis has a perfectly symmetrical face, the type of face that agencies look for in the next top model and fashion ads. He always has a bed head but it looks good, like perfectly tousled and falling in the right spots on his forehead. His green eyes are bright and intense against his golden skin.

  “Did you hear me?” He brings me out of my scrutinizing.

  “No,” I shrug.

  “Did you want to come with me? I think it would be the perfect moment for you to ‘come out’.” He uses air quotes for the last bit with a smirk on his face.

  “Would it be perfect at some old pedophile’s funeral?” I quirk a brow.

  “Yeah,” he nods, “but don’t say that there, not many people know that. Also, most of the town will be there and we can kill so many fucking birds with one stone. Plus, I’ll text Adri with the details so she can back it up.”

  “Got it.” I nod in agreement, “I’ll just go dress in my brightest attire.”

  He chuckles and shakes his head as he makes his way into the kitchen to dump out Adrianna’s concoction. I like the sound of his laugh, even if it was only a chuckle. I hope I will be able to hear a true laugh from him soon.

  We get to a small chapel and I see the parking lot and the surrounding streets are filled with cars. So, the pedophile was loved by this town, that’s fucking weird. Travis looks over at me and chuckles again.

  “Did you seriously dress in a yellow and red tracksuit?”

  “Yeah,” I nod, “it was the brightest shit I own.”

  “People will stare at you more now.” He shakes his head with a grin. He is secretly enjoying it. Probably wishes he could have done the same instead of wearing that stuffy suit he has on.

  “Let them.” I shrug and get out of the car. There are a few groups hanging around on the front lawn of the church and a line forming to go inside. Travis comes around the front and nods at me to follow him. He leads us over to a group of females and one of them is looking bored and a little sad. She’s African American with short hair dyed a bright red, she is shorter with a slight stature. When she sees us walking towards her, her eyes grow wide and her mouth falls open. I guess this lady knows Ember.

  “Travis.” She keeps her eye on me, “who is this?”

  “Hi,” I reach my hand out to her, “I’m Emmett.”

  “Emmett?” She asks as she tentatively takes my hand.

  “This is Ember’s twin.” Travis says and the surrounding ladies gasp. I look at each of them with a smile.

  “Rebecca had twins?” The woman still holding my hand breathes. “How?”

  “I was adopted as a baby,” I pull my hand back. “I was looking for my birth mother when my adoptive parents passed away, I followed my lead to here and found Ember instead.”

  “Oh wow.” She holds her hands to her mouth. “Does Ember know?”

  “Yes,” Travis answers, “she found out shortly before her vacation. She asked him to stay here and for me to keep an eye on him.”

  “You look so much like Rebecca,” her eyes start watering. “You’re identical to Ember but different as well. More like Rebecca.”

  “Ember says the same.” I nod. This must be Vin’s mother and my mother’s childhood best friend. The other ladies walk away and I can only hope that they are small town busybodies who will spread the word quickly. Saves us the work.

  “Why were you adopted but Ember was kept?” She looks confused.

  “Not sure,” I shrug. “I came looking for answers and instead brought both Ember and I more questions.”

  “Well, you are certainly here where you belong.” She puts her hand to my cheek, “with your twin and your mother’s friends.” It feels good hearing her say that and I can see where Vin gets what little compassion he has from.

  “Thank you.” I smile at her and follow behind Travis and into the church.

  Travis stops and starts talking to a group of guys all wearing Precious Blood baseball caps. This must be some of his teammates. A few of them have that hard toughened look Travis carries and they look like this is the last place they want to be. When Ember told me about her latest kill, she filled me in on how he was another pedophile and how he used to be Travis’ baseball coach. She didn’t tell me that he abused Travis, that was something I just suspected and it looks like he wasn’t the only one. If I had to guess, quite a few of these guys were taken advantage of at a young age by the monster my sister exterminated.

  Travis claps them each on the back and stands back running his hands through his hair, “when did you guys get back?”

  “Yesterday.” One of the guys replies, “ then we heard this shit.”

  “Yeah,” Travis nods. “We should probably head inside.”

  “Who’s this?” One of the guys asks while looking me over.

  “Shit,” Travis exhales, “my bad, this is Emmett Torres. He’s Ember’s Twin brother.”

  “Yeah I can see that.” Another nods.

  “Emmett, these are a few guys from my baseball team.” He points at the tallest guy of the bunch, he’s slightly lanky and has a shit eating grin on his face, “this is James.”

  “Hey man.” He nods. I return it.

  “This is Kevin.” He points out a tall, broad blonde guy. His eyes hold a mountain of pain and he barely gives me a glimpse. “And this is Jeremy.” The last one is shorter and he has been staring at his feet pretty much the whole time.

  “Nice to meet you guys.” I nod to them.

  “Emmett is coming to Precious Blood this year.” Travis tells them.

  “That’s cool,” James nods, “do you play baseball?”

  “Nah man,” I shake my head, “I play basketball if I have to choose a sport.”

  “Our basketball team sucks.” Jeremy mutters.

  “Noted.” I nod.

  We all head into the packed church and I see the front few pews have been cordoned off for the Precious Blood Academy’s baseball team.

  “You can come sit with us.” Travis says to me but I couldn’t sit that close to the burnt up piece of shit in that casket.

  “Nah,” I shake my head, “you go ahead, I’ll just chill back here.”

  Travis nods and gives me a lingering look before he backs away and goes to sit with his teammates. When Ember asked me to look after Travis while she was gone, my first thought was hell no, I wanted nothing to do with this smug shithead and I would’ve stuck to that if I didn’t see how much he was hurting. Was everyone else blinded to the suit of self loathing he wore? So, I’m here standing inside a small ass church and listening to a priest talk about this kiddie fucker meeting God in the kingdom of Heaven, just so I can keep an eye on Travis and making sure he knows I’m not going anywhere.

  “Rebecca used to hate this guy.” I hear someone mutter beside me. When I turn and look, I see Sharla standing there looking up at me.

  “Why?” I ask.

  “We went to school with him and she just always hated him.” She shrugs.

  I feel a ball of dread form in my belly. Could my mother have known he was a sick, twisted piece of shit? How? Did he try anything on her or were his tastes always gea
red towards pee-wees?

  “She’d be celebrating today,” she nods, “not mourning.”

  I snort softly, she’s sounding more and more like Ember. “She sounds like she was pretty great.” I whisper back.

  “She was,” she nods, “always a smart ass and running her mouth.” She has a nostalgic look in her eye and a small smile on her lips.

  I smile back but don’t respond. That sounds nothing like the mother that Ember described to me and I can only imagine it’s because our dad changed her so much. Or fear changed her, I don’t know but it cuts something deep inside me and I am suddenly overwhelmed with grief. I wish I knew her, even the quieter version that Ember is always comparing me to. Maybe we are both like our mother and nothing like our abusive father. One can only hope and I can’t wait to tell Ember that just maybe she’s more like our mother than she thought.

  Thankfully, Sharla doesn’t say much more and the funeral mass comes to a close.

  3

  My belly is super full and we are sitting in Coach’s big truck on our drive back to my house. He smokes a lot and I hate the smell of it but he opens the window and it’s not as bad. When my mother smokes in the car she never opens the window and it’s so hard to breathe.

  “I am so proud of you, Sport.” Coach says. He has a weird scratchy voice and it’s probably from all the cigarettes he smokes.

  “I can’t wait to tell Father.” I exclaim.

  “You know what, Sport?”

  “What?” I ask as he takes my hand and holds it in his lap.

  “You are my favourite boy.” Then he presses my hand down onto a bulge on the front of his pants. "See? That means you will always be my favourite.”

  “What is it?” I ask as I pat the bump.

  Coach’s head tips back and he lets out a moan. I yank my hand back, afraid that I hurt him and I won’t be his favourite anymore.

  “No, no,” he takes my hand again, “you didn’t hurt me. That just felt really nice. Just like those massages I do for your shoulders after a game.”